Registered Clinical Counsellor in Qualicum Beach

In mythology, winter solstice marks the birth of a divine light during a time of great darkness. This new light, when it comes into our view, can offer a flicker of hope or spark a new empowering narrative to approach a given situation. It can also be seen as a time when one’s life force has gone underground, but will re-emerge once again (Ronnberg & Martin, 2010). Solstice can be celebrated both for the natural re-emergence of longer days, and as a metaphor for the human experience of going through and emotionally dark time, knowing that light will return once again (Moore, 2016). An emotionally dark time could be going through a separation, a new diagnosis, dealing with menopausal symptoms, or loss.

As we consider the meaning of winter solstice in our lives, we can look at it through a counselling lens. When we are going through an emotionally dark time, our nervous system is often in a state of distress, therefore putting us into a survival state. Our amygdala could be hijacking our emotions and putting us into a state of fight or flight- anger or anxiety, irritability or frustration, people pleasing or people criticizing, or rage or panic. Or perhaps, the emotionally dark time could be taking our nervous system into a state of feeling shut down, collapsed, drained, and foggy. Polyvagal theory conceptualizes this state as feeling depressed, hopeless, numb, or in despair. However, even when our circumstances take us to an emotionally dark place, we can find hope by reaching for something or someone that anchors us into our “light state” of peace, hope, compassion, and ease.

Polyvagal theory calls these anchors, “ventral anchors”. But for purposes of this blog, I will refer to them as “solstice anchors”. Solstice anchors help us to connect with the energy of our state of connection, calm, compassion, and courage (also known as the “rest and digest state”). Solstice anchors help to prevent us from getting hijacked by our amygdala, which dictates our stress and fear response. When we are in a state of fight/flight or shut down, we are in a survival state. Survival states cause us to lose connection with “light energy”. When we are in a survival state, our inner critic comes out in full force, we typically think negative thoughts, and we can lose sight of the right way forward. We tend to repeat unhelpful patterns of reactivity in our survival states.

Yet even we are in the darkness of a survival state, we always have “the light” available to us, even if it feels far away. Knowing our solstice anchors help us to manage stress levels during an ongoing stressful situation, to re-connect with our “light energy”, and to move forward in our lives despite challenges. However, we need to identify our “solstice anchors”. They can be many things, such as people (real or remembered), pets, ancestors, guides, items, symbols, songs, activities (like exercise, yoga or prayer), poems, or places (such as the forest, the beach, your grandma’s kitchen) (Dana, 2022).

When the light feels like it is moving further and further away, what anchors help it to pause and turn back around in your life? What are the “solstice anchors” that help you to re-connect with calm, clarity, compassion, and courage to create a new empowering narrative for your life? I find it helpful to keep a list, or some way of reminding yourself of who, what, and where your “solstice anchors” are. You can write them down as a list, draw them on a map, or write them down on recipe cards. This will serve as a reminder you of who or what you can reach to, to help the light return into your life, and to find emotional balance once again.

If you are looking for a counsellor in Qualicum Beach, feel free to book a free 15-minute inquiry call with me HERE

Sources:

Dana, D. (2022). Putting Polyvagal Theory into practice: Nervous system-based exercises for anxiety, depression, trauma, and more (online course). PESI.

Moore, T. (2016). The soul of Christmas. Franciscan Media.

Ronnberg, A. & Martin, K. (Eds.) (2010). The book of symbols: Reflections on archetypal images. Taschen.